How Do I Have “The Talk” With My Aging Parents? | Ask a Savant Financial Advisor
Transcript:
Are you worried about your aging parents? Maybe they’re facing health challenges, or you’ve heard horror stories from friends about their parents’ struggles. You may feel the need to talk with your parents about their plans and desires for the future, but where do you start?
As a Certified Financial Planner and Certified Senior Advisor, I know it takes a special approach to get your questions answered while maintaining your parents’ sense of dignity and autonomy. In this video I will share my top 3 tips to help you have “the talk” with your aging parents.
But before we begin, I encourage you to go to savantwealth.com/guides and download our Financial Advisor Evaluation Checklist. You may want help as you navigate the uncertainties of this next phase of your life and our checklist makes it easy for you to find the right fit. Now let’s get started.
Tip #1: Know What You Need to Know
There are three important topics you need to discuss. First, legal documents. Do they have a will, financial and medical powers of attorney, and if so, where are these documents kept? The last thing you want to do is search for these legal documents when an emergency occurs! Second, healthcare preferences. If and when your Mom or Dad need help, like getting a shower or getting dressed or maybe they are having memory problems, do they want to remain at home or will they move to a community to get care? Do they already have a place in mind? Do they own a long-term care policy, or perhaps a life insurance policy with a long-term care rider? Do they have money set aside for healthcare, and if so, how can you access if for them when it is needed? Which leads us to the last topic, financial documents. If you are their financial power of attorney, you will want to collect more detailed financial information. You will want to know where to find recent statements for their bank accounts, investment accounts, retirement accounts, online credentials like usernames and passwords, and contact information for their financial advisor, if they have one. If this all feels a bit overwhelming, I understand! But take it from me, some potentially uncomfortable communication now can save you and your family a lot of trouble later.
Tip #2: Choose the Right Time and Place
This may seem obvious, but don’t launch into these questions at the Thanksgiving dinner table! Instead, tee up the conversation first by asking them when it would be a good time to talk. You can explain that you’ve been planning for your financial future, and you want to know more about their plans and wishes. Chose someplace private, not a busy restaurant. And remember to remain calm and compassionate – no need to turn this into an interrogation! Be curious and ask follow-up questions from a place of genuine concern. Remind them that while these conversations may be uncomfortable now, it’s important that you know their wishes and plans so you’re not struggling to piece everything together when an emergency occurs.
Tip #3: Don’t Get Discouraged
Lastly, don’t get discouraged and give up if they’re not being forthcoming with this information. In my experience, seniors can be more close-lipped about subjects like money – that’s normal. In fact, it’s likely that you won’t be able to cover everything in one conversation. That’s ok. Thank them for taking the time to talk with you and offer to continue the conversation when they’re feeling more up for it. You may need to revisit this subject a few times before you begin to feel more at ease about their future. Remember that a little progress is better than no progress at all.
My name is Patti and I am a Financial Advisor with Savant Wealth Management. If you’re worried about your aging parents and aren’t sure how to take the next step, I encourage you to get in touch. Let’s figure this out together.
Don’t forget to check out savantwealth.com/guides and download our free Financial Advisor Evaluation Checklist. Whether you’re hiring a financial advisor for the first time, or comparing your advisor to someone new, this checklist is designed to help you feel more confident as you take that next step.
Patti B. Black
Financial Advisor
CFP®, CSA®